I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My vagina just clenched in fear
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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