I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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