Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"

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(818): View more from California

The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.

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(206): View more from Washington

My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.

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(434): View more from Virginia

This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits

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(712): View more from Iowa

If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.

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