Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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