its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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