i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
