i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize