the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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