You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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