so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
