Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize