i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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