I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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