I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
