it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
