Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Shitshow foam night was such a success
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
