Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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