I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
