I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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