he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
