doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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