I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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