I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
