Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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