Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
