I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
