How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Randomize