Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
