so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
