it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You are the jesus of drinking
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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