I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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