Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
