just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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