My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
