Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
