But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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