she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Congratulations! We have a period
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
