it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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