I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize