Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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