he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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