Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
