Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
