My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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