I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
