He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
