Screwed.edu
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
