New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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