hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
