between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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