guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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