Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We are all done wearing pants today
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
