lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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