so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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