I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
