Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize