you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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