I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
