This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize