I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
