Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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