So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
