So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize