Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
