were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
