youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sorry about my life...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
