im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
