Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
now i know why i became what i already was.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
