I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
