i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
COCAINE IS GR8
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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