First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
